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Showing posts with label FUN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FUN. Show all posts

Saturday, 21 February 2015

LITTLE BIT OF FUN.

The importance of an occupation after retirement...

As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.  It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges that would make many of us wither. 

Harold Schlumberg is such a person:

THIS IS QUOTED FROM HAROLD:

"I've often been asked, 'What do you do now that you're retired?'  Well, I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background and one of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and whiskey into urine.


It's rewarding, uplifting, satisfying and fulfilling. I do it every day and I really enjoy it."
 

Harold is an inspiration to us all.

Saturday, 30 August 2014

DOG SHOW DRESS UP

Hello my friends and visitors,  Saturday again,  Hope you all have good things to do and a happy time doing them.  I hope to do some cutting this weekend then some BEAUTIFUL cards for next week!!!.
Here Cassidy is ready for the dress up dogie show at Bright Water Common, all the excitement you can imagine.  My dogs had no idea it was Phoenix,  and kept thinking not another one come to live!
To you all who live in the Southern hemisphere,
 1 September is Spring, hope we have a good summer and a good lot of rain, for those poor dry lands.  It is hard to believe that some people have not seen rain for 10 years or so.
I heard a lovely story the other day,  I had a few goose bumps .
Her little girl was terrified as most kids are of thunder and lightening, to calm the child down the mother told her that the lightening was an Angel getting her wings and the thunder was all the others clapping.

Please remember I cannot remember if Angel is Angle or Angel.   No matter how often I learn I forget,  an old blond thing.
Go well my darlings.



Growing in our garden. in all it beauty.



Thursday, 10 July 2014

LEE PLAYING THE FOOL.


I must sort my photographs, instead of running all over my Lap Top looking.   At least I can tell the Dr. that yes I do get some exercise.

Monday, 2 June 2014

BOB HOPE.

On his death  bed they asked him where he wanted to be buried and he said.  "Surprise me."
 Enjoy.  Do you remember Bob Hope?  You'll enjoy this.

I had  forgotten that he lived to be 100, and also didn't realize  it has been over  10 years since he died.
Always enjoyed  him, his movies, and his show. He touched a lot of lives  during his life.
Thought you might enjoy a bit of memory  touching, so sent it along to you.
Enjoy and recall a neat  comedian.
BOB HOPE IN  HEAVEN

For  those of you too young to remember Bob Hope, ask your Grandparents and thanks for the memories. WHAT A WONDERFUL  E-MAIL.
 I  HOPE THIS WILL PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND IN YOUR HEART.  This is a tribute to a man who DID make a  difference.


ON TURNING  70
'I still  chase women, but only downhill.'

ON TURNING 80
'That's the time of your life  when even your birthday suit needs  pressing.'

ON TURNING 90
'You know you're getting old  when the candles cost more than the  cake.'

ON TURNING  100
'I don't  feel old. In fact, I don't feel anything untilnoon.  Then it's time for my nap.'

ON GIVING UP HIS EARLY CAREER,  BOXING
'I  ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on  them.'

ON NEVER WINNING AN  OSCAR
'Welcome to the Academy Awards,  or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

ON GOLF
'Golf is my profession. Show  business is just to pay the green fees.'

ON PRESIDENTS
'I have performed for 12  presidents but entertained only six.'

ON WHY HE  CHOSE SHOWBIZ FOR HIS CAREER
'When I was born, the doctor  said to my mother, Congratulations, you have an eight  pound ham.'

ON  RECEIVING THE CONGRESSIONAL  GOLD MEDAL 'I feel very humble,  but I think I have the strength of character to fight  it.'

ON HIS FAMILY'S EARLY  POVERTY
'Four of us slept in  the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another  brother.'

ON HIS SIX  BROTHERS
'That's how I  learned to dance. Waiting for the  bathroom.'

ON HIS EARLY  FAILURES
'I would not have  had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience  threw at me.'

ON GOING TO  HEAVEN
'I've done benefits  for ALL religions. I'd hate to blow the hereafter
on a  technicality.'  

 Give me a sense of humor Lord, give  me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life, and  pass it on to other folk.

To the person receiving  this, give them the grace to pass it on to  others.





Sunday, 6 April 2014

LITTLE BIT OF FUN.




A Poem"

I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are.
I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife.
It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive
"It's sixty k's an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five".
It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake.
It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene.
It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear
And taking this into account, it specifies my gear.
I'm sure no other driver, has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice.
It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort?
Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed
It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed!
Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bugger off.


Sent to me on Face Book by Audrey Baxter.     Author unknown




Wednesday, 19 February 2014

FUN

A LITTLE  GIGGLE  FOR YOU.


Bill and his wife Blanche go to the Yorkshire show every year,
And every year Bill would say,
" Blanche, I'd like to ride in that there 'elicopter "
Blanche always replied,
" I know Bill, but that 'elicopter ride is twenty quid,
And twenty quid is twenty quid ! "
One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,
" Blanche, I'm 75 years old.
If I don't ride that there 'elicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Blanche replied,
" Bill that 'elicopter ride is twenty quid, and twenty quid is twenty quid "
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
" I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny !
But if you say one word it's twenty quid. "
Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,
" By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't..
I'm impressed ! "
Bill replied,
" Well, to tell you t'truth
I almost said summat when Blanche fell out,
But tha' knows,
twenty quid is twenty quid"

Tuesday, 5 February 2013

PENGUIN FACTS.

VERY INTERESTING FACTS ! !
Dead Penguins - I never knew this! 


Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica
?Where do they go? 

Wonder no more! 
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives
an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its
family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate
contact with its offspring throughout its life. 

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family
and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their
vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird
to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:



"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow." 



Friday, 11 January 2013

THE REASON

Now we know.  Mind you we know  I should say now the kids know  !!!!!!!
CHEERS. 

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

FRIENDS

These beautiful flowers were given to me from Billy and Jane, for Sundays lunch.  It was very good even though I have to say so myself.  I was a bit heavy handed on one of the spices in one of the meat dishes and had to buy more meat and dilute it down, luckily it worked.
Here is a Pic of the 4 of them and my DH Tony. (The one in the Red Shirt)

Friday, 14 September 2012

A LITTLE SMILE FOR YOU.


Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means,
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever


 The digi-stamp from Bungaloo
http://www.bugaboostamps.com/ 

 

Monday, 20 August 2012

FUN

This is such comforting logic on this miserable cold and wet day:


As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's-ass:

1. If walking and cycling is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is still fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. But a tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

Saturday, 28 July 2012

GIRAFFE

Good night all my good friends, have a wonderful Sunday, hope the weather is good for you.  Wish we had one at the farm. 
Bless you and keep safe.

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

SMILE FOR YOU

After you have eaten the Coffee and Brandy cake you can tell this, I am sure you will get lots of laughs.



The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive
clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning,
accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,
'Well, she's there.'
 
 
 
 
 

Friday, 1 June 2012

A LITTLE SMILE FOR YOU

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”. “Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.” 

Saturday, 10 March 2012

SILLY JOKE

Q. Where do you get virgin wool from?

 A. Ugly sheep.


 Q. What's brown and sticky?
 A. A stick.

 A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”

Friday, 24 February 2012

JOKE - Little Naughty

Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The
usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has
been going out with "the girls" a lot recently although when I ask their
names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."
I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually
fall asleep. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I
think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she
went out again and I decided to really check on her.
Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my golf clubs so I
could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night
out with "the girls". When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her
blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and
slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my clubs, that I
noticed that the graphite shaft on my driver appeared to have a hairline
crack right by the club head.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro shop
where I bought it?
Signed,
Perplexed

Thursday, 12 January 2012

TODDLERS

Here are some very good ideas for helping yourself along with your toddlers, go and have a look.   Just click the title.

Monday, 9 January 2012

JOKE FOR YOU.

One day a mom who had three sons had a birthday. Each son wanted to get her the best gift ever, so they all went shopping. Her first son buys her a really fancy car. The second son buys her a really huge house. The third son went to talk to the priest. He talked with them for a while about a parrot that was trained to say the whole Bible. The priests said that it would cost a ton of money, but the son agreed that it was worth it to pay one million dollars every year for his mom to own the parrot. Later the mom was writing thank you cards. To her first son she wrote, "Thank you so much for the great car, but I'm too old to drive." To her second she wrote, "Thank you for the great house, but it would take a century to clean and I don't need that much space." To her third son she wrote, "O...my dear...dear son, that was delicious chicken."

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

GODS WIFE.



Priceless!
GOD'S  WIFE
IT WILL KNOCK YOUR SOCKS OFF
I especially liked number 5!

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
Talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the
Contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was:

1. A four-year-old child, whose next door
neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost = his
wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
Gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what he had
said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just
Helped him cry.'

*********************************************

2. Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were
discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture
had a different hair color than the other members. One of her
students suggested that he was adopted.
A little girl said, 'I know all about
Adoption, I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked
another child.

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew
in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'

************************ *********************

3. On my way home one day, I stopped to
watch a Little League baseball game that was being played in a
park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-
base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was
'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered
With a smile.

'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you
don't look very discouraged.'

'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a
Puzzled look on his face...

'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't
Been up to bat yet.'

*********************** **********************

4. Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot
in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.

Jamie was trying out for a part in the
school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being
in it, though she feared he would not be chosen..

On the day the parts were awarded, I went
with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her,
eyes shining with pride and excitement.. 'Guess what, Mom,' he
shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to
me....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'

*********************************************

5. An eye witness account from New York
City , on a cold day in December,
some years ago: A little boy,
about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the
roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering
With cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said,
'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'

'I was asking God to give me a pair of
shoes,'was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into
the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks
for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water
and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back
part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed
his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with
the socks.. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him
a pair of shoes..

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks
and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No
doubt, you will be more comfortable now..'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid
caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears
in his eyes, asked her.
'Are you God's wife?'

*********************************************



Hope you enjoyed this, out of the mouths of babes.   This  was an e mail I received had to share.





Monday, 21 November 2011

FUN FOR THE DAY.

A man walked into a bar......ouch!
Why are movie stars so cool. A. Because they have so many fans.



   Silly  old me.